sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
