in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
