She said her name was "party"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
