The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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