There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
