I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
