Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
