i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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