Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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