She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
