can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
