rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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