How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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