Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
