Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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