What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
