So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
