So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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