Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
