Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
