Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
