i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
