Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
