so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
