This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
