help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
