the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
