420 ftw
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
