Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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