My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
