Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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