Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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