I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
