i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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