My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Randomize
