Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
