im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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