so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
