i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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