I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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