some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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