No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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