We're facebook friends in real life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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