I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
