she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
