what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
