before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
