see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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