you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
