My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
